1. Electric has gone and the antidepressant has me not being able to settle and fall asleep for very long at a time. Totally restless and my jaw feels weird.
    I hate the side effects of antidepressants. They are what have always put me off going back on them. Can’t wait for them to settle


  2. Great the electric ran out. Went to check to see if there was emergency. There wasn’t. Was then sick to the side of my house in the rain.
    Oh the joys of pregnancy. How glamourous.

    But no electric. Grrrrr. Charging my phone via my laptop.


  3. Doctors and Baby Things

    I went to see the doctor today and he wrote me a prescription for antidepressants, told me that i had been referred to the perinatal mental health team, got a sick note and got the flu jab.

    i will go back to see him next week as he will be off the following week. I can now breathe about work and concentrate on sorting me out and getting things organised.

    I worked out that getting paid £150 a week at work (before my hours go up at some point) I will be able to spend £150 a month on things for baby. about £200 for the bills I pay and the rest will be to save and things for the house i.e. food, gas, electric - just helping my mum out. 

    Steven will also have to contribute to baby seeing as he earns the most and will have to budget for it. Lets face it, he will have to contribute a good amount monthly when baby arrives.

    I feel somewhat hopeful that all will be fine. I need to write a list of the things I need to buy for baby and in priority order and gradually work through the list. 

    If baby’s a boy I won’t need to buy any clothes just a few things I like. If baby’s a girl my sister in laws sister said she will give me stuff and I will also get a bundle on ebay possibly and few items that I personally like.

    I am not bothered about getting everything brand new. The only things I will definitely buy new is the pushchair and car seat. I will be scouring ebay, preloved and gumtree for things.

    So far I have a moses basket and rocking stand which I got from preloved for £20. I worked out I saved about a good £60 or so.

    I will also need to budget doing my room. Main things I need to get is flooring, paint, cot for baby and storage unit from ikea. A wardrobe can wait.


  4. So, I have made the decision to get signed off work for this week and next (the week after is half term) so will go in after that. By then, I will hopefully feel a lot better and have gotten myself sorted out.

    I can’t stop work completely as I simply cannot afford it and baby needs things. 

    I already feel like I am failing. So I am going to go back on anti depressants, get a sick note and try and destress. I may even look for another job but I’m not sure. Even Steven said that being signed off work was a reasonable idea. 

    One step at a time and the first being is doctors tomorrow. I need to email my manager and explain what’s going on which is making me a bit nervous as I don’t know what to say. I don’t whether I should just say I am not coming in tomorrow (would be in 1.5hrs) and say that I will explain further tomorrow once I have seen the doctor (they also know that first aid sent me home).

    I need to look after me, so I can look after my baby. I just want to cry and be held by Steven.


  5. Anonymous said: You probably cant have water because your body might be lacking certain things you get from the other drinks you like now, like sugar. Try taking vitamins and eating more sugars

    Thanks anon whoever you are. That’s a good point that I would never have thought of. Wish you weren’t on anon so I knew who gave me such sound advice x


  6. Milestone


    I have only really ever drank water until I got pregnant and it made me sick. I am pining for it as I miss it and the only thing I really like. It has been painful only being able to drink fizzy drinks (which I NEVER have), juice and what ever else I can find to drink.


  7. Just want to sleep. Feel exhausted


  8. Got to work. Being sent home had to call first aid because I felt so weak and dizzy. My legs felt weak. Think I was having an anxiety attack but not sure. Now I’m waiting for my brother to meet me to walk home with me. I failed today


  9. Got an appointment in 25mins. Better get dressed. Luckily it’s just before work meaning I will go and it’s also on the way to work

    The perks of living in short walking distance of the doctors and work


  10. Trying to make a doctors appointment. I need to talk to someone I think


  11. Is the depression coming back? Is it why I feel like this at the moment?


  12. I just want to cry. I really don’t want to go to work. I am so tired after not being able to get to sleep then waking up constantly in the night and not being able to get back to sleep.

    My head hurts, I feel sick and I want to cry.
    I just want to not work any more. But I have to 😢

  13. dreadlocmamaa:


    Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero. 

    Banana kid is my favorite

    This will be my kids

    (Source: funnynhilariousgif)

  14. questionful:

    Just a pic of my new converse yay omg *.* 💙💜❤️
    Dont delete my text please!

    (Source: clasicia, via lustdiamonds)


  15. Having a sad and emotional moment. I wish I didn’t have to do all of this alone. I didn’t plan this. I wanted more for myself.

    All will be fine as it has to be and I will adapt and adjust. It will be all I know. I just wanted more and I didn’t want this.

    I knew it would be like this from when I made the decision to keep the baby. But still. Just finding it hard tonight.