I have the urge to speak to my ex step cousin. He literally saved my mums life approx 13/14 years ago. He was approx 14 years old himself.
It was Christmas. Both me and my brother were away. My mum was at home with her then partner who was also violent.
They went to see his family. They all beat her. She had a head injury. When she got home his nephew also came inside. He was able to distract his uncle until my mum was out the house where she escaped to my neighbour who took her to the hospital. She knows for a fact that she would’ve died that night as the beatings would have continued.
I remember coming back from my aunts. He met me at the station. He told me that my mum couldn’t come because she had ‘walked into a door’ and had a black eye.
I remember him dragging her out of MY bed. I was about 9 maybe. At that point we had to go. I remember him on his knees pleading with me for us to stay. I looked him in his face and told him no we are leaving. We walked up the hill to my mums friends house in our pyjamas.
I remember when he was going off on one and we were in the living room. I was scared and was pretending to read a book. We were saved by his friend calling him to go out. And he went
I remember when I was 11 and my mum had received a prank call. He then proceeded to question my brother who was 14 at the time. His friend our neighbour came. And my mums ex was getting in my brothers face.
That was the night my mum knew we had to leave. My brother stayed at the neighbours house.
The next morning we creeped around packing a bag. My mum was careful to pack one that was identical to my neighbours. It was then passed to her who then walked with it to the end of our road. It was a very windy day.
Our first stop was to my mums friends a 5min walk away. Then we were off just my mum and me (my brother was going to my dads). We made the journey to Brighton where my cousin lived. I had to reassure my mum all the way to the station telling her we were doing the right thing. It was one of those days where there were delays because of fallen trees and leaves on the tracks. But we eventually made it. I had barely anything. My cousin bought me a coat.
My dad refused to drive up to our road when picking my brother up. So my brother was forced to walk passed our house where the violent man was. This is something I will never forgive my dad for. Bare in mind my dad has no problems on handling himself as a bouncer an black belt in ju jit su.
My uncle drove my mum and I back. When we got back he had gone. Takin everything of value. TV, stereo system etc. house looked very bare. But we were ok and we had left
I would love to say that was the end of it. But the thing about domestic violence is that it is a very complex issue. Although he didn’t live with us and I have only ever seen him once in the street. It didn’t stop fully until I was about 14/15 maybe.
I do not blame my mum for what happened one bit. It was not her fault. She protected my brother and I from it as much as possible (there’s lots I don’t know but bits have come out since)
My mum is a strong and remarkable woman. I love her to pieces and we are very close.
I don’t know why I wrote this but it was on my mind then I opened tumblr and saw about Janay Rice and my short post got longer.
I was a witness to it and I have been lucky to say that my brain has blacked out a lot of what I saw to protect me.
My mum was lucky. She could have died or she could have killed him as that is a true reality. If they can’t get away then someone usually dies. The victim or the perpetrator. Whoever gets there first.